What does that mean?
Have you ever realized that the idea of perfectionism kills people’s love and relationships?
Have you also felt that we all have fears in our mind about our relationships?
If the answer to any of the above questions is YES, be cautious as you may be at the edge of sabotaging yourself and your relationships. You have these 3 significant fears going in your mind for your relationships.
Do you know that our minds are very tricky and always clingy to destructive & negative thoughts, and that’s a common nature and habit of our mind which ultimately sends us into the vicious cycle of doubt and fear?
Have you ever realized that the idea of perfectionism kills people’s love and relationships?
Have you also felt that we all have fears in our mind about our relationships?
If the answer to any of the above questions is YES, be cautious as you may be at the edge of sabotaging yourself and your relationships. You have these 3 significant fears going in your mind for your relationships.
Do you know that our minds are very tricky and always clingy to destructive & negative thoughts, and that’s a common nature and habit of our mind which ultimately sends us into the vicious cycle of doubt and fear?
And once this cycle starts, we have two choices, either to stay in this cycle or intervene and stop this cycle.
Before we start fixing this cycle, we must understand these types of fears and the problems associated with these fears and what languages we choose to speak with these fears.
1. Fear of Loss or rejection
Maybe you or someone you know is thinking that people who love you will leave you or die.
Or feels like No one has ever been there for you.
Possibly there are people you who you sense are unpredictable.
OR you feel that In the end, I will be alone.
Anyone who has these situations then sees overgeneralizing into the things and read into the behaviours.
Most of the time, these issues are not actually part of our current relationships yet are impacting us mainly in the present.
Because mostly these issues start with childhood. The physical and emotional connection we get from parents decides our personal relationships for the rest of their life.
If you have experienced any traumatic connections during your childhood and find the dots connected with your current relationship as an adult, let me give you some comfort by saying that it’s correctable.
2. Fear of judgment – Judgment can be one of the most dangerous weapons in a relationship. It tells your partner that it’s not okay to be themselves. It builds up resentment in them, and judging those closest to you makes you and them miserable.
Before we proceed with this discussion, what this judging actually means – this means that “When you can’t accept the behaviour of another person, so impose your standards upon them”.
Once it starts seeding, it creates shame or humiliation in the relationship. This judgment is either based on abilities, actions, or feelings, be they past, present.
You can easily find this out by the language like “what she would say about me” or “Would he treat me same afterwards”.
And with constant feed on this fear of judgment, anyone can start deflating and detaching from their loved ones because it becomes so exhausting trying to fulfil their demands. Slowly steadily, we become depleted of the hope that we can ever attain the affirmation of happy, loving relationships.
3. And the third significant fear is the Fear Of Not being heard or fear of being misunderstood
One of the most challenging burdens to bear is being misunderstood by other people.
How upset they can be when they don’t feel understood. In such moments, they experience a break in the relationship — and with that, feelings of uneasiness, aloneness, or irritation.
Listen, guys, our basic wantings are to be accepted, appreciated, approved, attended to, liked, loved, cared for — and understood
It’s a bleak place to be and can lead to feelings of emptiness and despondency. In such a state, we’re even vulnerable to taking our lives.
On the contrary, Feeling understood connects you to others, allowing you to feel welcome.
Things tend to matter more to us when we have a sense that others care about them, too.
Now, these are the top 3 fears of relationships.
How to overcome the above?
Be the CREATOR of your own life, and make your own reality.
What does that mean?
Based on previous experiences, past pain, we create stories in our head, the worst-case scenario we could imagine. We do it because we think by basing the decision we made on the idea of protecting ourselves, we won’t make mistakes.
Unfortunately, that decision is actually based on FEAR. When we are controlled by fear, the reason and the vision of what we TRY will become clouded.
How do I overcome FEAR? 3 Tips.
1) By not afraid to make mistakes.
2) By learning to laugh it off instead of punishing ourselves.
3) By stopping to place your judgment on others, we will judge ourselves less in return.
When we don’t see everything as a problem, we will immediately become more accepting, understanding, and realize that… HEY, I am GOOD ENOUGH with no fears in my relationships.
Have you done or feeling any fear in your relationships? Let me know in the comments.
Before we fix this cycle, we must understand these types of fears and the problems associated with these fears and what languages we choose to speak with these fears.
1. Fear of Loss or rejection
Maybe you or someone you know is thinking that people who love you will leave you or die.
Or feels like No one has ever been there for you.
Possibly there are people in you who you sense are unpredictable.
OR you feel that In the end, I will be alone.
Anyone who has these situations then sees overgeneralizing into the things and reads into the behaviours.
Most of the time, these issues are not actually part of our current relationships, yet are impacting us mainly in the present.
Because mostly these issues start with childhood. The physical and emotional connection we get from parents decides our personal relationships for the rest of their life.
If you have experienced any traumatic connections during your childhood and find the dots connected with your current relationship as an adult, let me give you some comfort by saying that it’s correctable.
2. Fear of judgment – Judgment can be one of the most dangerous weapons in a relationship. It tells your partner that it’s not okay to be themselves. It builds up resentment in them and judging those closest to you makes you and them miserable.
Before we proceed with this discussion, what this judging actually means – this means that “When you can’t accept the behaviour of another person, so impose your standards upon them”.
Once it starts seeding, it creates shame or humiliation in the relationship. This judgment is based on abilities, actions, or feelings, be they past, present.
You can easily find this out by the language like “what she would say about me” or “Would he treat me same afterwards”.
And with constant feed on this fear of judgment, anyone can start deflating and detaching from their loved ones because it becomes so exhausting trying to fulfil their demands. Slowly steadily, we become depleted of the hope that we can ever attain the affirmation of happy, loving relationships.
3. And the third significant fear is the Fear Of Not being heard or fear of being misunderstood
One of the most challenging burdens to bear is being misunderstood by other people
How upset they can be when they don’t feel understood. In such moments, they experience a break in the relationship — and with that, feelings of uneasiness, aloneness, or irritation.
Listen, guys, our basic wantings are to be accepted, appreciated, approved, attended to, liked, loved, cared for — and understood
It’s a bleak place to be and can lead to feelings of emptiness and despondency. In such a state, we’re even vulnerable to taking our lives.
Feeling understood connects you to others, allowing you to feel welcome.
Things matter more to us when we have a sense that others care about them, too.
Now, these are the top 3 fears of relationships.
How to overcome the above?
Be the CREATOR of your own life and make your own reality.
What does that mean?
Based on previous experiences, past pain, we create stories in our head, the worst-case scenario we could imagine. We do it because we think by basing the decision we made on the idea of protecting ourselves, we won’t make mistakes.
Unfortunately, that decision is actually based on FEAR. When we are controlled by fear, the reason and the vision of what we TRY will become clouded.
How do I overcome FEAR? 3 Tips.
1)By not afraid to make mistakes.
2) By learning to laugh it off instead of punishing ourselves.
3) By stopping to place your judgment on others, we will judge ourselves less in return.
When we don’t see everything as a problem, we will immediately become more accepting, understanding, and realize that… HEY, I am GOOD ENOUGH without any fears in my relationships.
Have you found yourself doing or feeling any fear in your relationships? Let me know in the comments.
